#0001 Journal

It's been a while since the last time I logged in to my blog.. boy I missed a lot of things here lol! Many things happened many things changed. And among those changes some things were stay remain.. Sometimes it's for the good sage, sometimes it's the other way around... nothing is certain anymore. Led by hope I keep on searching for some answers.. answers that only can be revealed by myself and time. Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one... Wish me luck my friend.

The Sky

Each day people walking around
some were moved by their needs
some were driven by their dreams
and some were just waiting to die

Life is just like a blink of an eye
everything were just a repetition
same pattern with different forms
like the sun moving cross the sky

I want to fly and pierce the sky
but the sky has no boundaries
left me watching it from beneath
I close my eyes let my mind flew

Carrying along my heart and soul
like the sky it have no boundary
I free myself from this mortal body
fly up high and reach my dream

Written by: Reny Kanon Fukai

Innuendo (The Devil's Eye)

Tell me gypsy can you see her in your crystal ball?
She came to me hundred weeks ago to be my lover
Without her in my arms to mend my scattered heart
My days are gray and the future seems sorrowed

I love her more than a word can say without a doubt
Since she's gone from my days my loneliness spreads
The time we spent together could never be replayed
My love for her kept me away from falling to heaven

The wind blew in to my face as our time passing by
I stood alone watching the sea moves under the sky
No depth could divine my love or to reach in my soul
I am ready if this heart would be once again broken

All my sweet feelings were torn and I no longer care
I continue to live my life and enjoy this numb feeling
If  I lost her forever my heart and soul will die with her
My lips are smiling as the devil offering me his heart

Written by Crying Devil
Disclaimer: I do not own the picture

December

In the name of hope and dreams
one by one my wishes are swollen
In the name of love and happiness
my heart is ripped apart in hatred

I couldn't stop to find the answers
this wounded heart begins to decay
destroying my soul from the inside
I wish there's some tears left to cry

I tried to hold on and I tried to forget
it wears me out I can't think anymore
You come and go whenever you want
left me alone with my ugly thoughts

Hatred was burning stronger in time
it came when my faith is weakening
I wish to live in my separated world
where I could free myself from love

Written by Me

This playlist was made on 2009, now it is here dedicated to anyone who have suffered from life, love, faith and pride. I hope you enjoy


the songs were taken from OST of games and anime

The playlist song tracks:
1. The price of freedom (FF Crisis Core)
2. Remember sadness (Saint Seiya)
3. Jigoku Shoujo opening (Ryuzaki)
4. Inside a dream (Seiji Yokoyama)
5. Ameno (ERA)
6. FF VII Advent Children (Jenova)
7. Triteza (Saint Seiya)
8. Aura (Yuki Kajiura)
9. Violin Medley (Vanessa Mae)
10. Follow me OST Ghost in the shell (Innocence)
11. A dangerous mind (Within Temptation)
12. Zanarkand (Final Fantasy X)
13. OST Jigoku Shouho
14. Jigoku Shoujo Futakomori Ending
15. Jigoku Shoujo (Rock)
16. Jigoku Shonen
17. Moonlight Wilderness (Tekken 5 OST)
18. Pegasus Fantasy (Saint Seiya)
19. Sephiroth's Theme FF VII Advent Children
20. Soldier Dream (Saint Seiya)

Direct link: http://www.goear.com/playlist/0382a6a/animegame-songs/

The Seperated World (Wish)

nothing could hold me back
not even love hope or dreams
follow the raging beating mood
my adrenaline is uncontrolled

got to move on got to stay high
releasing the animal inside me
i just try to escape from myself
nothing left to believe anymore

i wanna hit the wall and scream
so sick of this regular ****'in life
or just trying to prove myself
looking for pride, fright or a fight

i inspired you, you influenced me
you ****** my mind so bad man
or i just freaked out.. anyway
you made me happy man i'm flattered

things ain't matter anymore
no more such right or wrong
wish i could just burst and die
just to prove that i was alive

thanks man~

Written by: A Wacko Eminem Style hahahah -peace-
Inspired by Eminem

A Short Story of a Drunken Man

On a Friday night he drives his car to a bar. Yes.. he needs some drink to have fun and to forget whatever troubled his mind. He saw an empty stool with a pretty lady sitting next beside it. "Oh hi.. my name is Rennie, I wonder if this seat is taken?" he asked politely. "Oh, not at all...! please have a seat" she replies and smiles. Her name is Olivia, then they talk.. and drink and laugh.. It seems this guy Rennie is enjoying himself.. Olivia was a good listener and he began to get carried away with his mood.. he told her whatever brought him there as one glass after another he gulped, until he couldn't remember whatever he spoke.

The next day he woke up on his bed, still in the same clothes he wore last night. His head was really sore and heavy but he began to get panic when he couldn't remember how he got home. He look out the window and found his car is there parked on his carport. He look for his keys and wallet.. nothing is missing. He is glad and happy, "It must be Olivia who drove me home with my car last night, she must have searched my address on my ID card. I hope something did happen last night." he said in his mind and smiled. But he couldn't find a single note from her to tell him where he could reach her back. "Oh darn.. I forgot to ask her number.. maybe the bartender knew". He jumps to the shower and drive back to the bar with full of hope.

He is lucky, the man who stand behind the bar is the same bartender he saw last night. He approaches and smile.. "Hi, I just drop by.. Ummm... do you know the lady who was with me last night?" he asked. "Oh, you mean Olivia? yeah I do.. she's a regular here, is there's anything else?" asked the bartender. Rennie is happy, "Yeah, I want to thank her for last night for the great time we had and...". "Dude, I don't mean to be rude but you were so drunk last night, she wanted to say goodbye but there's nothing she could do to make you sober. So she pays everything and left with her fiancee."

"Fiancee?" suddenly he felt his heart stopped..and his face turns pale. "Renford? are you okay? you look pretty messed up dude, you might need some help" said the bartender. "Shut up.. please just leave me alone!" Got embarrassed and upset he stood up and went back in to his car. While driving on his way home, he couldn't stop thinking.. who drove him home last night. As his brain began to work better, he realized.. that his room is on the second floor and it was impossible for Olivia to carry him up there to his bed. And.. how does the bartender knew his written name? &%$$#@!#%$@!* WTF?!

Written by Reny Kanon

I'm sitting in front of my computer then suddenly the light gets poor. Damn... it's almost 5 p.m, how fast the time passing by. Day by day I spend my time the same way.. what a life.. what a life.. and still I 'm eating my heart out. Drain my mind.. talking to myself. Hey my friends are out there.. but who cares.. I'm a loner. Sometimes I enjoy.. and sometimes I don't, i think that's still normal isn't it? My boredom is eating me.. I'm an art person who is trapped in the business world.. Am I happy? no I'm not. But do I enjoy the money I get? Yes.. So what's more important? satisfaction or happiness? the answer is both! Or.. maybe I asked the wrong question.. Idealistic or realistic? oh yeah.. that's the right question. I guess I have to be realistic before I get to idealistic, ain't that sucks? Yes reality is sucks!! sucks!! my life sucks!! All I got is time.. yes time.. couldn't stop time. Oh Chronos the God of time, you're the father of Zeus aren't you? And oh yes.. I knew Thor since long time.. but I just find out that he is the son of Odin, silly me.

Coffee and Cigarettes

Smoking alone in the corner of my room
A cup of black coffee is sitting by my side
It is half empty while the astray is half full
Smoke by smoke came out from my mouth

Every blow carry away my unpleasant feelings
But my wounded heart keep on providing them
Along with a hurtful joy and enjoyable delusions
My lips are smiling but too bad not with my eyes

This lonely heart is getting colder by night
Within my mind I try to find your warmth
And I did the same thing night after night
I began to enjoy this tormenting pleasure

I open my window to let some fresh air to join in
The city lights are glittering against the night sky
I always knew that you never been mine alone
But why life is so black and white without you

Written by Reny Kanon
Disclaimer: I don't own the picture

The Messiah, Warrior of Ruin

She has the face of innocence,
and eyes like the depth of night.
Fragile and vulnerable from outside,
but possess the power to demolish.
She is a warrior of silence,
speaks through her eyes,
and kills through her will.
She is the presence of death,
sent to end a civilization,
to turn anything to silence.

Written by Me
Tribute of Hotaru Tomoe Sailor Saturn

The Bearer of Light

He was once the brightest star,
most beautiful beyond description.
He was the seal of perfection,
a masterpiece of all God's creations.

Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty,
a musician and was given exalted position.
No other angel, no other being was created,
with intelligence that God had given to him.

But this perfect angel also has a free will.
His heart was proud because of his beauty,
he corrupt his wisdom for the sage of his splendor.
He refused to serve God, but want to be served.

In his heart he said,"I will ascend to heaven,
I will raise my throne above the stars of God,
I will ascend to the tops of the clouds,
I will make myself like the Most High".

God says to him,"Iniquity was found in you."
Therefore God cast him out from heaven.
His white bright wings turns to shadow black,
an archangel has fallen into the darkness of hell.

Not all the words are my own some were taken from Isaiah 14:12-14 NIV
Disclaimer: I do not own the picture

A Story of White Feather

Long time ago on a far away land,
where mountain and forest was left unharmed.
Once lived a brave hunter with eyes of an eagle.
He lived alone in the woods remote from his village.
Year after year he lived on his preys.
He hunt them down with his bow and arrows,
until one day a prey led him to an empty hut.
A girl in a white dress came out from the woods.

From distance he watched her standing by herself.
At once, he forgotten his prey and dropped his weapons.
With doubtful heart and huge curiosity he walked closer.
And the closer he got the faster his heart beat was.
Slowly she turned around and revealed her beautiful face,
her long brown hair was swayed by the mountain wind.
Then suddenly she caught him with her sadly brown eyes.
Beyond his expectation she approached him with a smile.

Like flowing river word by word unveiled her tale,
she was held there for an unwanted marriage.
Silently love had grew and spread in their hearts.
Moved by his sympathy and her appealing beauty,
he offered her to escape with him and to be his wife.
Her eyes gleamed as she took his hand and said "I do".
Hurriedly they ran and disappeared in to the woods,
but they didn't aware a pair of wicked eyes were lurking.

On the following time at the peaceful place where he lived,
they were happy but their happiness wouldn't last longer.
A group of men showed up with weapons in their hands.
Regardless that he was out numbered he took up his spear.
From the noise they made they were coming for the girl.
In their ruthless savageness they attacked him at once.
One by one their sharp weapons went through his flesh,
it didn't take long until his body tumbled on the ground.

For amusement they pulled his hair and cut his throat.
Dying and left alone drowning in his own blood.
In his blurry sight he saw them took away what was his,
vaguely he heard her cried screaming out his name.
Some moments after they left the forest was quiet.
He was still conscious but none he could feel,
not even the pain he was suffering but a strange peace.
He closed his eyes for the last time and let the breeze carry his soul.

Written by Reny Kanon
Made to honor the soul of Flying Eagle
Disclaimer: I don not own the picture

A Name

She possess a beauteous name
A name that describes her beauty
A name that fascinates my thoughts
A name that brought me peacefulness
A name that driven me to insanity
A name that reminds me of her face
A name that been kept within my heart
A name that I would never forget
And a name that no longer has a meaning

Written by Reny Kanon
Disclaimer: I don't own the picture

Forgotten Love

I was striving on a bloody battle ground, 

when they captured me as their prisoner
They took away my sword and also my pride
day after day I was tortured in the dungeon
Until the time she came and saw me there
A strange emotion struck when I saw her face 

One day she had me moved in to her chamber
And on her bed my both hands were tied
It was getting harder to breath lately, 

this unusual feeling had filled full my chest
There's no more space left for me to breath
my mouth were opened to gasp some air

And I knew she had been standing there
watching my chest moving for breath
Then she came closer to watch my face
Gently she covered my opened mouth
with her beautiful tender red wine lips
We kissed so deeply without a touch
 

I couldn't make a move or even say a word
she killed me softly with her deadly kiss
I felt her warm hand while my sight fades
slowly it was sliding down to my private part
I tried to struggle but all my efforts were useless
this kind of pleasure was too precious to be fought
 

She crawled up on me and revealed her breasts
one after another she fetched them to my lips
Then she moved down to unbind my hard erection
inside her mouth she kept it delighted and warm
And the more I moaned the more she becoming
I wished that she would untied my both hands
 

A familiar weapon appeared from behind her back
she aimed my throat with a gleaming sword
So close to my ear she whispered our chronicles
she were longing so long while I was with another
Maybe I did cost her a great pain and suffering 

Might it be once she was mine and I was hers
 

But pity it didn't recall my lost memory
an evil spell had removed her from my retention
In tears she stabbed my heart with my own sword
In my dying breath she kissed me one more time
I never knew that pain could be felt so good
It was getting too dark to see, in her arms I died in peace

Written by: RENY KANON
Inspired by The Legend of Sigurd and Brunhilde
Disclaimer: I do not own the picture

Both Eyes Shut Mouth Opened

He slept each night on his wrinkled pillow
and woke up each day with a heavy heart
In his chest he kept the memory of his love
but his mind struggled to find peace in lust

Empty bottles were standing on the corner
some were dusty but the smell is still strong
She had been gone but her scent wouldn't go
it embraced him each night with unseen arms

Still lying on his bed he looked down to his feet
yet something in between distracting his sight
He moved his hand slowly to his source of lust
beyond his consciousness he began to enjoy it

He couldn't remember the last time he copulated
haven't done it enough or have done it too much
And after some time he managed to wet his sheet
but his heart remained as dry and heavy as before

Written by: Me
Disclaimer: I don't own the picture

#Epigraph

How much does a man live, after all?
Does he live a thousand days, or one only?
For a week, or for several centuries?
How long does a man spend dying?
What does it mean to say "for ever"?

PABLO NERUDA

The Remains

This heart is heavy

and these feet are tired.
My mind is empty
and my spirit has died.

Won't take long
before I turn to a zombie.
Won't take far
to watch this body collapse.

I stop my foot steps
turn around and smile.
In my anguish I laugh so hard
breaking the wall of sanity.

I fell down on my knees
with both palms on the ground.
Grasping the dry land
and crush them in my hands.

They break to scattered dust
like fragments of a broken heart.
My tears and sweat are dripping
wet the ground then vanished.

It's getting hard to breathe
the air is thick and my chest is full.
My love for you is eternal
and so does my pain and grief.

Written by Reny Kanon

The Lost Mirror

Everyday I saw your face
Your eyes, your nose and lips
When I stared at you in the eyes
They stared back at me intensely
Sometimes soft like morning dew
Sometimes wild like raging fire 
A face that hide a million story
Among triumph and agony
Mixture of compassion and cruelty
Between true love and pure lust
But none resembles goodness or evil
Like day and night appeared at once


Written by Reny Kanon
Tribute of Saint Gemini Saga
Disclaimer: I do not own the picture

Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde was a name I have heard a long time ago after Shakespeare, but I just read about him recently. Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde (16 October 1854 – 30 November 1900) was an Irish writer and poet. His first creation I read was a short story titled The Fisherman and His Soul. Though he had a lot of tragedy in his life, he kept creating his works and his name will always be remembered in the world class literature art history.

The Longing Sadness

Day by day alone I sat behind my window
Staring at the falling wrinkled drying leafs
One by one they reached the cold ground
Then blown away by the dry autumn wind

Suddenly the light in my room began to dim
But still I stayed on my old leather couch
Until the street lamps were all turned on
I stood up and walked myself on to my bed

Rest myself on it but not my agitated mind
The lights from the moving vehicles broke in
And created moving silhouettes on my walls
Another restless night I had to go through

In every breathe I took I felt your absence
My eyes were dry out but I cried in silence
The tears streamed to the depth of my heart
And slowly this beating heart began to break

Leaving myself to what I had once believed
That one day you'd be back again in my arms
So I could once again kiss your rose wine lips
Within this heart would once again blossoms

Written by Reny Kanon
Disclaimer: I don't own the picture

Oscar Wlide's "The Fisherman and His Soul" sadest scene

The black waves came hurrying to the shore, bearing with them a burden that was whiter than silver. White as the surf it was, and like a flower it tossed on the waves. And the surf took it from the waves, and the foam took it from the surf, and the shore received it, and lying at his feet the young Fisherman saw the body of the little Mermaid. Dead at his feet it was lying.

Weeping as one smitten with pain he flung himself down beside it, and he kissed the cold red of the mouth, and toyed with the wet amber of the hair. He flung himself down beside it on the sand, weeping as one trembling with joy, and in his arms he held it to his chest. Cold were the lips, yet he kissed them. Salt was the honey of the hair, yet he tasted it with a bitter joy. He kissed the closed eyelids, and the wild spray that lay upon their cups was less salt than his tears.

And to the dead thing he made confession. Into the shells of its ears he poured the harsh wine of his tale. He put the little hands round his neck, and with his fingers he touched the thin reed of the throat. Bitter, bitter was his joy, and full of strange gladness was his pain.

But the young Fisherman listened not to his Soul, but called on the little Mermaid and said, 'Love is better than wisdom, and more precious than riches, and fairer than the feet of the daughters of men. The fires cannot destroy it, nor can the waters quench it. I called on thee at dawn, and thou didst not come to my call. The moon heard thy name, yet hadst thou no heed of me. For evilly had I left thee, and to my own hurt had I wandered away. Yet ever did thy love abide with me, and ever was it strong, nor did aught prevail against it, though I have looked upon evil and looked upon good. And now that thou art dead, surely I will die with thee also.'

And his Soul besought him to depart, but he would not, so great was his love. And the sea came nearer, and sought to cover him with its waves, and when he knew that the end was at hand he kissed with mad lips the cold lips of the Mermaid and the heart that was within him brake. And as through the fulness of his love his heart did break, the Soul found an entrance and entered in, and was one with him even as before. And the sea covered the young Fisherman with its waves.

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time on a sunny afternoon

I stood alone on a side of a crowded lake
A beautiful white swan caught my eyes
It was surrounded by the quacking ducks

The sun was burning so angry and dry
Resisting to be drown by the evening fall
I walked more closer to watch you better
It didn't take long for our eyes to meet

Like fresh water washed away the heat
Slowly it filled full my long drying heart
We smiled at one another with all desire
The hot burning sun had no longer flared

I kissed your lips under the twilight sky
We found each other in our long sadness
In my arms I held you close to my chest
Hoping the future would be on our side

Written by Reny Kanon

The Fisherman and The Mermaid

There was once a handsome fisherman, who was afraid of nothing except drowning, who fell in love with a beautiful mermaid. Each night she sung for him under the moon light.

The mermaid couldn't live above the water, and the fisherman couldn't live beneath it.
Every night they meet at the surface, she reaching up from the sea and he leaning over the side of his boat to kiss her red cherry lips.
And every night he felt the kiss a little differently. Sometimes it was gentle like ripples in rock pools, sometimes playful like foam at the edge of the beach, and sometimes wild like the wave pounding themselves against the cliff.
Day by day, breath by breath, he started to taste how dry the air was, and each day he ached for the evening when the mermaid’s kiss would once again wash over him.
The fisherman was happy but love cast a shadow on those it leaves behind, and the shadow is called jealousy. So the fisherman's wife and children knotted together an iron net of wicked, barbed chains and caught the mermaid while the fisherman was fishing else where. They killed the helpless creature quickly with dry knives and burned her body. Since that night the fisherman couldn't find his mermaid. Each time he called for her there were no answer. She never show up again on the sea surface. But he never stop looking for his lost love.
Less than seven kissless nights later the fisherman was found dead curled up in the bottom of his boat like a piece of dry rope. The doctor came to look at him to determine how he had died. He inspected the body carefully and gently. He was a thorough man so he went back to the house and looked at the wife and children too. This made them uncomfortable but nonetheless none of them told him about the mermaid, nor said anything about her murder. The doctor told the cruel family that their fisherman had died of a broken heart. But in his little book he had written what he really knew, strange though it was: the fisherman who was afraid of drowning had suffocated in the dry, dry air, exactly like a fish out of water.

Inspired and taken from The Fisherman and the Mermaid, The Water Book of the Knot-Shop Man
Disclaimers: I do not own the story or the picture

Clouds Without Rain

I came by to the place where I met you

I stared and stood there for some time
Felt the cold air moving through my face
The sun was sleeping behind the clouds

I couldn't find my shadow on the ground
Only cracks that gone wider each day
I bent my knees and touch the ground
Letting the dry dust running on my palm

I saw you smiling in my restless mind
I stayed for a while and started to smile
My days were cloudy but no falling rain
No embracing warmth or refreshment

I stood up and turn my back around
Began my steps back to where I came
In my heart I said to you I missed you
Each day I came to see if you're there

The nights were dull without the stars
In loneliness I went through my days
Time wouldn't stop tormenting my soul
My life were empty without your love

Written by: Reny Kanon

Winter Sun

I'm standing under the winter sun
Facing the cold wind in a bright day
My emotion froze under the icy lake
Nothing moves but the fears inside

But I keep standing to face the truth
To gain honor and fill full my destiny
To give my love my life and my pride
I'm dying before you and feel the pain


Blood streaming out from my wounds
Wet my body and stained the ground
I made mistakes I could never change
My soul was lost and still I tried to live

The smell of despair is crawling over me
I tried to fight but I kept on breathing it
Your tears couldn't wash my blood away
Please let go, let me end what I released

Written by Reny Kanon
Tribute to Alpha Dubhe Siegfried the God Warrior of Odin

Falling Sky

Day and night I stare up at the moving sky
The gray clouds are covering your blue surface
I wish I could be the wind to case them away
I wish I could reach your bright delicate skin

You only can be seen but couldn't be touched
I walked through the lonely road beneath you
A path that never ends with no certain answer
Like a lost soul that couldn't find it's way home

Day and night I saw you wondering above me
I wish I could be the clouds to be close to you
I wish I could be the sun that made you bright
Or the moon and stars that beautify you at night
Written by Reny Kanon
I love you my love, and i always will

Black Heart

Black stain dirt my bloody heart.

Spreading slowly with lust and evil.
Hunger for satisfaction and greed.
Searching for pleasure and prey.

Move in silence through my fingers.
Slide my heat on your unguided body.
To feel your flesh and taste your core.
Looking for pure satisfaction in pain.

I will keep holding on to what I craved
Even the sea will rise and the sky will fall.
Black heart driven by eternal wounds.
Whipped by betrayals and deceives.

This delusional war would never ends.
The sun will burnt and moon will break. 
Even there were nothing left to destroy.
My heart will never be free from hatred. 


Written by: Reny Kanon
Tribute to Sephiroth

The Petal Rain

One moment in a peaceful warm summer night.
Where all the flowers are gracefully blossoming.
Under the gathering stars swayed by the wind.
Reflecting the summer night with all living colors.

I breathe the summer air with all it's wisdom.
I lay my body on the warm grass facing the sky.
Releasing my mind to the wave of serene space.
Drowning my mortal body in the tender ground.

I close my eyes seeking for peace and freedom.
May my soul leave my body for some moments.
To feel free, to feel peace and divine happiness.
Far away from fear, pain and the sorrow of life.

One by one the flower petals land on my face.
I open my eyes and knew that the time is over.
I began to feel the pain again loneliness strikes.
Love is like an over flowing river, it never stops.

Memory can be so beautiful and unforgettable.
We can only remember but couldn't turn back.
When our love ones were taken away from us.
Shards of memories could be shards of blades.

Silently my tears streaming down on my face.
The wind touches my shoulder to remind me.
To wake me up and to move on with my life.
I smiled in bitterness staring at the petal rain.

Written by Reny Kanon
Tribute to all the people who lost their love ones.

A Heart Full of Tears

A heart full of tears I bear within me.
The rain keep falling in the shiny day.
I knew one day the time would come.
I stare the leaving daylight in despair.
Even the strongest sunlight will fade away.
Death is what makes life's so beautiful.

In every second a flower petal falls.
Drop to the ground blown by the wind.
Once they are lost it would be forever.
But the memories will always remains.
I try to gather the shards of memory.
Create a picture and live a sad dream.

May 22 2007 and June 10 2011 was the saddest day in my life.
I always love you mum and dad, i will never forget the wonderful
memories we had back then. May your soul rest in peace. Amen.

Water of Icy Thorns

following the piano tunes you are playing
so beautiful and peaceful through my ears
although every tune is a thorn in my heart
and every drop of pain raining on my soul

quietly my tears started to flow like river
wet my drying soul to feel the icy thorns
a heart full of tears i been carrying inside
but i never really meant to pour it away

please do not stop, just keep on playing
the sun is pale whenever you're around
and that is just the way i want it to be..
pale like the bright moon over my days

i don't care if my tears turned to blood
i don't mind if my heart started to bleed
as long i could hear you play the song
i will drink this cold water of icy thorns

Written by Reny Kanon July 7, 2009

The Queen and The Knight

She was the queen and the most beautiful one

Surrounded by her guards and her powerful king
She looked in glimpse just to sight my presence
I tried so hard to ignore her beauty and charm

She was like a full moon in the dark of night
I strive to resist cause I was just her knight
One day I caught her eyes stared in pain
Her soul screaming behind her fiery eyes

That moment my heart beats stopped
An invisible arrow just struck me down
I couldn't breathe not even to swallow
Been trying so hard not to falling apart

Day by day time torturing our filthy souls
And we both knew that we lust each other
Her love and lust seduced me to surrender
One night she stripped down all my dignity 

Written by Reny Kanon

Can't Get Enough

My love, I never can get enough of you
Couldn't escape from this dirty feeling
I really need to have you in my arms
Close to my body, close to my heart
I need your touch, I need your warmth

I couldn't live this suffer much longer
If only you were here close from me
I'd pull you closer and kiss your lips
To feel your warm skin against mineTo hear your voice aching on my ear

Without you beside me my life is dull
Every night I dream of you by my side
Each morning I woke up without you 
I wish that one day I would find you
So we could race our heart beat as one

Written by Reny Kanon

Just

"I love you with all my heart my queen, but I'm just a knight without a sword. So how would I protect you from anything that might harm you?"
"This kind of situation made me frustrated, but never mind.. I would still love you always."

Lonely

Afternoon sun ray touches my lonely skin.
I closed my eyes to feel this serene warmth.
I remember the time I had you in my arms.
That moment I knew there's no other peace.

Rain clouds gathered so gloomy and gray.
They try to wash away the yellow sun ray.
I stood alone in the rain with empty stare.
Hoping it would drown my miserable soul.

Cold wind blowing through my warm body.
Stabbed my heart with it's chill and blades.
Leaving me there with my untold memories.
I wish you were standing there to hug me.

Written by: Reny Kanon

The Moon and The Wolf

I walked through the field of grass
under the full moon on one night.
The trees whispering in the wind
and silvery grass shining so bright.

I gazed up to watch the starry sky
the night was so graceful and still.
Watching me standing beneath it
I saw the moon was smiling at me.

Then slowly I felt my heart moved,
the moon is so beautiful and bright.
But somehow I sense a loneliness,
even the stars were always there..

Suddenly I feel sadness rushing in,
like missing someone for too long.
From distance I heard the wolf howls
the same loneliness spread in the air.

Now I knew that they were once lover
but a tragic fate separate them forever.
I lay myself on the white silvery grass,
letting the wind to free my spirit away.

Written by Reny kanon
Dedicated to my old friend Black Wolf

Empty Bottle

Day by day I spend my time in silent,
night after night I search for a dream.
Everything seem not certain anymore,
in this mind live so doubtful thoughts.
Vanishing the fire slowly to darkness,
stepping my feet further to nowhere.

I lay my helpless body on my couch,
letting my restless mind taking over.
In silence my heart screams in pain,
trying to swallow everything in vain.
I searched my lonely soul in the dark,
but all I can find is just an emptiness.

All this time my soul lives in despairs,
too many tears of miseries has fallen.
The fire in my eyes get weaker in time,
brightness seems so far away to reach.
I don't know for how long I shall suffer,
my broken heart refused to surrender.

Time is so cruel without you by my side,
I would give everything to make it done.
Even my heart bleeds on this thorny path,
alone I try to make some changes inside.
To put away sadness, anger and hatreds
so one day happiness shall come to me.

Written by: Reny Kanon

Moon Flower

You're blooming like the moonlight flower
so white and pale under the moonlight sky.
Each night the wild wind makes you sway
but never could take your strength away.

You're beautiful like the moonlight flower
always lives gracefully under the night sky.
Your petals reflecting the falling moonlight
makes the night lives like a bright daylight.

You're shining like the moonlight flower
no one knows how much you have strive.
makes me want to love and protect you,
always there for you every day and night.

The flower knew that it will wilt and die,
but still it struggles to live with vitality.
I rain my tears to keep it blossoming,
forever searching for the love I once lost.

Written by: Reny Kanon

Broken Arrow

When the first time i saw you that day,

I knew there was something lost in me.
You caught my eyes and stole my heart,

my soul wonders how to make you mine.

You looked at me with smile on your face,

our eyes met and somehow you fell for me.

You came to me and touch my lonely soul

I never felt more happier than that day.

The more i knew you the more i love you,

together we live our love and cherish life.

Day by day we spent to love one another,

my life is complete with you in my arms.

Even i knew situation was not on my side,

and if one day time will shatter my heart.

I kept hold on to my dream to face the time,

I kept on hoping that one day it will come.

written by: Reny Kanon

Crimson Blood

Whenever i see you standing there alone,

it makes me want to move myself closer.
To touch you, hold you, have you, own you.
I want your heart, your body and your desire.
I want to crawl on you and merge with you.
Starting from the eyes going down bellow.


Time passing by like the autumn wind,
blowing our passion to the crimson scape.
Our blood rushes to fill full our lusty thirst.
Looking for pure satisfaction in pleasure.
When love and lust is combined as one,
none is ever enough to make them flew.

We gaze at each other to start another.
When holding back is getting too much.
I know you want to feel me deep inside,
as much my body desires to lay on you.
One by one second falls taken by the time.
Let me be the one to make it last forever.

written by: Reny Kanon

Passion to Love You

I feel love and I also feel hurt
Two things I couldn't avoid

Loving you is painful for me
But losing you is even worse

Having you is happiness and
Longing for you is an anguish
I live my love to reach a dream
I live my life to make it happen
Loving you is all that I need
See you happy is all that I want
I don't care how painful this could get
Nothing can stop me from loving you

Written by Reny Kanon

Prince William and Kate Middleton

When i see them together, i could feel their love and happiness, and it brings me great joy in my heart. Nothing is more beautiful and powerful than love, may their love and happiness lasts forever.. God bless them. Amen.

be with you

darlin i know youre not mine alone but i just couldnt stop loving you.
i know that we will never be as one but still i'm longing for you.
i want to hold you in my arms and feel the love we cherish together..
oh God there's nothing more i want to ask.. i just want to be with you.